More Moments from MN

"What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others."

Here are a few more glimpses of our time in MN in August:

We went as a family (Chris was back here in Huron working for a few days) to the fire hall and returned Dad's gear. A pretty heavy task, as you can imagine, but thank goodness for all of the kids. The firefighters working that day let us climb all over the trucks (as they do every time we are there) and take all sorts of pictures. One of them even pulled me aside and told me to bring my kids back anytime we're in town, which of course made me cry a little. Alex and Maguire never went to the fire station with Papa, unless you count this trip back in November 2007 (see belly):

The four-wheeler provided some good stress relief for everyone:

Nate & Lissa

Ben & Ryan (and Laney!)

Chris & Ellie

We spent lots of time being eaten alive by mosquitoes in the backyard, playing on lots of fun toys thoughtfully provided by friends.

Uncle Nate & his Mini-Me

Grammie & her girls




Ellie & Lorna got along so, so well and had lots of fun dressing up in their matchy-match dress-up clothes.





Alex, lovin' the kid-sized dump truck



And we would be remiss to not mention Nate & Alissa's dog, Doug, who also joined us at the Eiesland compound for our time there. This dog has the patience of a saint. Any dog who goes from living alone (well, with two adults) to a house with 7 adults and 4 children for nearly 3 weeks and hardly bats an eye is a winner in my book -- and that is saying a lot, because I am NOT a dog person. Doug worked hard to earn his keep as chief floor-cleaner, scapegoat, dress-up mannequin, grief counselor, and general life of the party.

Back In the Saddle

Hi everyone, it's Carrie back on the keyboard again. Sorry for my long absence, I'm not sure I can pinpoint an exact reason. For awhile, I just didn't want to blog. Then for a few weeks, every time I'd sit down to write, I couldn't decide where to start. I felt a lot of pressure (mostly from myself) to write something profound and eloquent about Dad's death. And while the experience has certainly been profound and heart-wrenching and heart-stretching, there is no good place to start explaining it. No neat and tidy turn of words to sum things up. As we were fond of saying while at home in MN, "this is really the shits." Sorry, but it's the truth. There's no sugar-coating it. :) So I'll leave it at that.

And I'll say that we are doing okay, as well as you can be when something like this happens. I don't think anyone ever thinks about their dad not being around, and wrapping your brain around that is a tough thing. Some days are pretty good, and others are really hard. We miss him. So, so much. Always will. But we continue to plug away at this "new normal" and count ourselves so very blessed to have had him. I couldn't have asked for a better Dad and Papa for my kids.

I know Chris posted links to the obituary and procession into town when Dad's body was brought back to Brainerd, but I wanted to include this photo of the day of the funeral. Firefighers from area departments covered the shifts at the Brainerd station so all of the department could attend the funeral. The street bordering the church was packed with fire trucks. These two ladder trucks were parked at the entrance to the church parking lot, and the flag strung between them was 30 ft by 50 ft -- when the service was over, the firefighters (and other law enforcement officers there) and the family lined the driveway as the hearse drove past. It was an amazing sight. Words cannot convey how proud I was to be his daughter that day. To see all those officers and firefighters honoring him made all of us so proud of the man he was and the way he was respected in the Brainerd community.

One good thing about a situation like this is the time you have to spend with family. All of us kids were able to be home (all in Mom & Dad's house) for almost two weeks together. That was the most time we'd ever spent together as a whole family! We were amazed at how well the kids adapted and everyone worked to make it work in close quarters. Dare I say, we even had fun?!? We were blown away by the acts of love from family, friends, church members, and even strangers during that time. We had more food than we knew what to do with. Our children had babysitters, toys appeared in the backyard for kids to play with, laundry soap and toilet paper never ran out -- we were blessed. If you are reading this, you are likely friend or family, so on behalf of the Eieslands, I say thank you. Whether you blessed us with food, time, prayers and thoughts, or your presence...thank you is not enough.

My Uncle Scott and Aunt Doreen made their home available to us (and the extended family) many times during our stay -- it was just what we needed -- a quiet place to step away from the ringing phone and doorbell, to just play in the lake and catch up with cousins. Here are my Grandpa and Grandma Eiesland with all 9 of their grandchildren.

The girls had so much fun and spent hours just digging in the sand. It was good medicine for all of us.

Here are all the grandkids and their spouses (minus AmySue -- she's the paper plate face in the upper left corner!).

Ben's daughter, Lorna, even caught her first fish!

Something else we were fortunate to be a part of was going to the bank with my mom to pay off their house. My parents had been planning to do it when my dad got home from his motorcycle trip, and wanted to go to the bank with balloons and cookies to write the final check. So we blew through that bank lobby with our hordes of children and made our mark on their offices. What a cool thing to be a part of! Way to go, Mom & Dad!

Anyone who knew my dad is well-aware of his love of guns. Well, my brothers and Chris took it upon themselves to take stock of his collection and head out to a family friend's house for some target practice.

Here's the before shot.....Charlie's Angels-style. I just want to know, which one of them is Farrah?

More to come on our time in MN....stay tuned!

A Greasy Week

Over the past week the Studer family has had its fair share of grease. Just downright, deep fried, fat laced, amazing grease-filled food. Last weekend we went to the Corn Palace Festival in Mitchell which is basically a county fair held on Main Street in front of, you guessed it, the Corn Palace. We had some BBQ pork sandwiches and french fries before we topped off the meal with cotton candy, a funnel cake, and chocolate dipped cheesecake on a stick. We found a nice little nook in the Corn Palace to have our dinner...And devoured it...Then we were serenaded by this guy singing the old hymn "Sweet By and By" from the stage. Classic. I just had to snap a pic of this guy... Then this Labor Day weekend the South Dakota State Fair started and it's held right here in Huron. So with Grammie in town, we headed out to the fair Friday afternoon. And of course we stuffed our faces again. With pizza...
Pork Loin...

Pop...

Potato Chips...
and Parmesan covered breadsticks.

Which left us all feeling like...

Pigs.So we petted some...
And watched others race. "Hamma Montana" and "Dale OinkHeart Jr." were just two of the unique names given these swine. At least they were burning some calories...unlike us. We just ate more cheese curds...

And Cotton Candy...
Before Ellie and I got on the dragon roller coaster. Where the dragon tried to eat my head...
Grammie and Ellie got their tickets to ride the carousel... And made funny faces the whole time...

And even though it took some convincing, Ellie finally agreed to ride the ferris wheel with Grammie and Carrie. A few days ago Ellie said they should ride the ferris wheel so they could wave to Papa in heaven. So when they were at the top, they gave him a big old wave!

It was a great time. And I think we've had our fill of grease for the rest of the year. Unless we decide to go back tomorrow. You never do know. That pork loin was pretty tasty.

Adjusting to the New Normal

Well, it's been a rough few weeks for us as you can imagine. As I write this, it's been exactly three weeks to the day since we lost Carrie's dad. It's really hard to believe even now. But we're slowly trying to adjust to the new normal. We haven't figured out exactly what that means just yet, but we'll get there. Thanks to all of you who commented, called, emailed and sent cards. We really covet your prayers and we're thankful to be surrounded by such wonderful friends and family. It's been, well, it's been pretty sucky all around. I'm not sure how else to say it. I guess I can think of a few other words, but this is a family blog. But seriously, friends and family definitely soften the hard times, so thank you for that.

We have good days and not so good days, but we're trying to make our way through this horrible season of life. We're back in Huron after over two weeks in Brainerd. It was really weird at first to be here. It didn't feel right. But Ellie had her first day of pre-school Monday of this week, so we needed to get back. As for Ellie, she couldn't have been more excited.

With her little pink dress, her princess backpack, her new school tennies, and a couple of ponies in her hair... Ellie embarked on her first day of class... but not before a little model pose on the front steps. I made her do the "look over the shoulder" pose so we could show off the sweet backpack...A quick snapshot with mom...


And dear ol' Dad (in his matching pink shirt of course) ...And she was off to begin what will be a long road to graduation. 14 years of backpacks (and maybe someday she'll pick one without princesses on it), school supplies, and a batch of new school clothes. Every. Single. Year. This is gonna get expensive. I don't think I'm ready for all of that.

But Ellie had a blast on her first day. You never know how they're going to react in a new situation. But when Carrie and I dropped her off it took her about 6.5 seconds before she was playing on the other side of the room. When Carrie and I said, "Bye Ellie, we love you,"

she barely turned around and said, "Bye." Simple as that. So no worries about her being able to detach from mom and dad. But should we be a little worried because it was that easy for her?? Hmm...

This past week was also filled with haircuts for both of the boys. Maguire was in the chair first. And it didn't go so well...

And I don't really know why. Last time he was a little scared by the clippers, but we got a sucker in his mouth right away and he was fine. So Carrie was already armed with multiple suckers this time, but it didn't do much good. But you can see in the picture above that Alex was happy as a clam eating his own sucker. But he wasn't the one in the chair. Thankfully Maguire made it through though. Barely. But when it was Alex's turn, he sat like a champ. This picture was actually taken by Ellie because Carrie was in the bathroom bathing a very hair covered (and still not so happy) Maguire. Ellie might have a future in photography, she's got a nice little artistic tilt to her shots.

So that's a little snapshot of our lives this past week. Keep us in your prayers, and we promise to post more frequently from now on!!

A Father, Papa, and Friend

(Fred on his Harley at the Tanker Base where he worked. He helped fill the planes for wildfire suppression.)

I write this post with the heaviest of hearts today. I don't really even know how to begin. But I guess I'll just start. As some of you may know, we lost Carrie's dad Fred this past Friday at the age of just 56. I can hardly believe that I'm writing these words, as we go through one of the hardest, and honestly most bizarre things we've ever experienced. Fred's death was so sudden, and very unexpected. Carrie received a call that Fred had a heart attack in Iowa while on a motorcycle trip, and he was on the way to the hospital. About an hour later we got word that he was gone. It's just really hard to believe. We look at pictures now and think he's going to just walk in the door.

As difficult as it is to realize he's actually gone, we think back on his last few months of life and are comforted by the fact that he experienced some amazing things. He was able to travel to Europe this past spring with his uncle. They saw Paris, the French Riviera, Copenhagen, and other amazing places. Then during this last motorcycle trip he and one of his best friends rode all the way from Brainerd, Minn., to New Mexico. They wanted to see the place where the movie "Wild Hogs" was shot. So they did.

He loved that motorcycle. Fred wore a Harley shirt and a Harley hat most days. It was weird to me when he didn't have a hat with flames on it. Every spring he and I would talk about how long it would be before he could get on the bike again. "I usually wait until the first good rain," he'd always say, "So there isn't so much sand on the roads." I'd bet he said those words to me every spring after he got that bike. Those are the conversations I'll miss.

I have to admit I was a little scared of the man when I started dating his daughter. What man isn't? Plus, I was only 16. But he was so good at putting people at ease, and he made it pretty easy on me. I have no stories of being threatened with bodily harm, even though he may have been thinking it a time or two.

I always looked up to Fred Eiesland. He was taller than me. But it was, of course, much more than that. He spent 24 years as a volunteer firefighter. I have a deep respect for those who are so selfless and willing to risk their own lives for that of others. He was that man. Running out the door at 2:00 a.m., he was willing to lay it on the line to save someone else. I think of how many people are alive today because of something Fred did. That amazes me. This week, Fred's body was escorted back to Brainerd by a long line of fire trucks and fellow firefighters. It's a unique fraternity, and it was an amazing sight.

I also admired his character. He was an honest man. He was full of integrity. He was kind. He was giving. He was a man of courage. He had the heart of a child, but the strength of a giant. He was always there with advice when we were going through a rough spot. But he was always comforting. He smiled and laughed. I'll miss his laugh.

I'll never forget the day our daughter Ellie was born, and Fred and Linda drove through the night to get to Sioux Falls. They stood by the door as she came into the world, and "Papa" as he would be called, was one of the first to hold her in his arms. She was his first grandbaby, and he was so proud. Whenever they would come to visit he and Linda would fight the whole drive down over who got to hold her first.

Like I said, his heart was like a child's, and I think that's why kids just adored him so much. It wasn't just his grandchildren, but nieces, nephews, and kids at church too. They all called him "Uncle Fred." He was always willing to get on the floor and play. I can still hear Ellie's little voice in my head saying, "Papa, Papa, PAPA! Come play in my room!" He always would. And Fred was never ashamed to wear a pink princess crown, if it's what Ellie wanted.

Or anything else Ellie wanted him to wear...

This summer Ellie went to stay at Grammie and Papa's house for a few days for her annual "All by Myself Vacation." They went for a canoe ride, roasted marshmallows, and Papa camped out in the backyard with her. They stayed up late and talked. I pray Ellie remembers those special times.

I know my boys won't have any real memories of him, but they'll definitely hear stories of how great their Papa was. I'll make sure of that. A piece of Fred is alive in my boys. For that I'm eternally grateful. I pray that they will grow into men like their grandfather. Even if he did like to teach them to stick out their tongues.

Fred Eiesland wasn't just my father-in-law. He was my friend. One of the things I'll remember most is something that happened about five years ago in California. We were there for Carrie's brother Ben's wedding when Fred, Linda, Carrie and I went to Lake Tahoe for the day. We ate at a cool restaurant and had some ice cream later. But Fred said something during our drive around the lake that will stick with me forever. We had been talking about family relationships and Fred said, "Well, I don't think of you Chris as just my son-in-law, but I look at you as a friend." I'm guessing Fred probably wouldn't even remember saying that. But I remember. It really had a profound effect on my life. We were friends. I wasn't just some guy that was married to his only daughter. He actually liked having me around. And that felt so good to hear.

Many men keep their emotions and their feelings inside and don't express them much. Fred was not that man. We knew we were loved because he told us. Carrie said she feels so peaceful about the fact that there was nothing left unsaid. He called her on her birthday, which was just a few days before he died. She says she doesn't remember anything about their conversation except that they said, "I love you." But that's all that really matters anyway.

We knew we were loved, and he knew we loved him. There isn't much else. We know he had a relationship with Jesus, and that He welcomed him home with open arms. That is what gives us the most comfort.

I'm honored to have shared a big part of my life with such a wonderful man. We had a lot of laughs along the way and I'll miss that a lot. I can still hear his voice when he would call me. Every time I answered he'd say, "Mr. Studer..." and I'd know it was him.

Rest in peace, Mr. Eiesland.

If you'd like to see the obituary CLICK HERE and the story about the firefighter procession CLICK HERE. Here are some other snapshots of Papa...