Adjusting to the New Normal

Well, it's been a rough few weeks for us as you can imagine. As I write this, it's been exactly three weeks to the day since we lost Carrie's dad. It's really hard to believe even now. But we're slowly trying to adjust to the new normal. We haven't figured out exactly what that means just yet, but we'll get there. Thanks to all of you who commented, called, emailed and sent cards. We really covet your prayers and we're thankful to be surrounded by such wonderful friends and family. It's been, well, it's been pretty sucky all around. I'm not sure how else to say it. I guess I can think of a few other words, but this is a family blog. But seriously, friends and family definitely soften the hard times, so thank you for that.

We have good days and not so good days, but we're trying to make our way through this horrible season of life. We're back in Huron after over two weeks in Brainerd. It was really weird at first to be here. It didn't feel right. But Ellie had her first day of pre-school Monday of this week, so we needed to get back. As for Ellie, she couldn't have been more excited.

With her little pink dress, her princess backpack, her new school tennies, and a couple of ponies in her hair... Ellie embarked on her first day of class... but not before a little model pose on the front steps. I made her do the "look over the shoulder" pose so we could show off the sweet backpack...A quick snapshot with mom...


And dear ol' Dad (in his matching pink shirt of course) ...And she was off to begin what will be a long road to graduation. 14 years of backpacks (and maybe someday she'll pick one without princesses on it), school supplies, and a batch of new school clothes. Every. Single. Year. This is gonna get expensive. I don't think I'm ready for all of that.

But Ellie had a blast on her first day. You never know how they're going to react in a new situation. But when Carrie and I dropped her off it took her about 6.5 seconds before she was playing on the other side of the room. When Carrie and I said, "Bye Ellie, we love you,"

she barely turned around and said, "Bye." Simple as that. So no worries about her being able to detach from mom and dad. But should we be a little worried because it was that easy for her?? Hmm...

This past week was also filled with haircuts for both of the boys. Maguire was in the chair first. And it didn't go so well...

And I don't really know why. Last time he was a little scared by the clippers, but we got a sucker in his mouth right away and he was fine. So Carrie was already armed with multiple suckers this time, but it didn't do much good. But you can see in the picture above that Alex was happy as a clam eating his own sucker. But he wasn't the one in the chair. Thankfully Maguire made it through though. Barely. But when it was Alex's turn, he sat like a champ. This picture was actually taken by Ellie because Carrie was in the bathroom bathing a very hair covered (and still not so happy) Maguire. Ellie might have a future in photography, she's got a nice little artistic tilt to her shots.

So that's a little snapshot of our lives this past week. Keep us in your prayers, and we promise to post more frequently from now on!!

A Father, Papa, and Friend

(Fred on his Harley at the Tanker Base where he worked. He helped fill the planes for wildfire suppression.)

I write this post with the heaviest of hearts today. I don't really even know how to begin. But I guess I'll just start. As some of you may know, we lost Carrie's dad Fred this past Friday at the age of just 56. I can hardly believe that I'm writing these words, as we go through one of the hardest, and honestly most bizarre things we've ever experienced. Fred's death was so sudden, and very unexpected. Carrie received a call that Fred had a heart attack in Iowa while on a motorcycle trip, and he was on the way to the hospital. About an hour later we got word that he was gone. It's just really hard to believe. We look at pictures now and think he's going to just walk in the door.

As difficult as it is to realize he's actually gone, we think back on his last few months of life and are comforted by the fact that he experienced some amazing things. He was able to travel to Europe this past spring with his uncle. They saw Paris, the French Riviera, Copenhagen, and other amazing places. Then during this last motorcycle trip he and one of his best friends rode all the way from Brainerd, Minn., to New Mexico. They wanted to see the place where the movie "Wild Hogs" was shot. So they did.

He loved that motorcycle. Fred wore a Harley shirt and a Harley hat most days. It was weird to me when he didn't have a hat with flames on it. Every spring he and I would talk about how long it would be before he could get on the bike again. "I usually wait until the first good rain," he'd always say, "So there isn't so much sand on the roads." I'd bet he said those words to me every spring after he got that bike. Those are the conversations I'll miss.

I have to admit I was a little scared of the man when I started dating his daughter. What man isn't? Plus, I was only 16. But he was so good at putting people at ease, and he made it pretty easy on me. I have no stories of being threatened with bodily harm, even though he may have been thinking it a time or two.

I always looked up to Fred Eiesland. He was taller than me. But it was, of course, much more than that. He spent 24 years as a volunteer firefighter. I have a deep respect for those who are so selfless and willing to risk their own lives for that of others. He was that man. Running out the door at 2:00 a.m., he was willing to lay it on the line to save someone else. I think of how many people are alive today because of something Fred did. That amazes me. This week, Fred's body was escorted back to Brainerd by a long line of fire trucks and fellow firefighters. It's a unique fraternity, and it was an amazing sight.

I also admired his character. He was an honest man. He was full of integrity. He was kind. He was giving. He was a man of courage. He had the heart of a child, but the strength of a giant. He was always there with advice when we were going through a rough spot. But he was always comforting. He smiled and laughed. I'll miss his laugh.

I'll never forget the day our daughter Ellie was born, and Fred and Linda drove through the night to get to Sioux Falls. They stood by the door as she came into the world, and "Papa" as he would be called, was one of the first to hold her in his arms. She was his first grandbaby, and he was so proud. Whenever they would come to visit he and Linda would fight the whole drive down over who got to hold her first.

Like I said, his heart was like a child's, and I think that's why kids just adored him so much. It wasn't just his grandchildren, but nieces, nephews, and kids at church too. They all called him "Uncle Fred." He was always willing to get on the floor and play. I can still hear Ellie's little voice in my head saying, "Papa, Papa, PAPA! Come play in my room!" He always would. And Fred was never ashamed to wear a pink princess crown, if it's what Ellie wanted.

Or anything else Ellie wanted him to wear...

This summer Ellie went to stay at Grammie and Papa's house for a few days for her annual "All by Myself Vacation." They went for a canoe ride, roasted marshmallows, and Papa camped out in the backyard with her. They stayed up late and talked. I pray Ellie remembers those special times.

I know my boys won't have any real memories of him, but they'll definitely hear stories of how great their Papa was. I'll make sure of that. A piece of Fred is alive in my boys. For that I'm eternally grateful. I pray that they will grow into men like their grandfather. Even if he did like to teach them to stick out their tongues.

Fred Eiesland wasn't just my father-in-law. He was my friend. One of the things I'll remember most is something that happened about five years ago in California. We were there for Carrie's brother Ben's wedding when Fred, Linda, Carrie and I went to Lake Tahoe for the day. We ate at a cool restaurant and had some ice cream later. But Fred said something during our drive around the lake that will stick with me forever. We had been talking about family relationships and Fred said, "Well, I don't think of you Chris as just my son-in-law, but I look at you as a friend." I'm guessing Fred probably wouldn't even remember saying that. But I remember. It really had a profound effect on my life. We were friends. I wasn't just some guy that was married to his only daughter. He actually liked having me around. And that felt so good to hear.

Many men keep their emotions and their feelings inside and don't express them much. Fred was not that man. We knew we were loved because he told us. Carrie said she feels so peaceful about the fact that there was nothing left unsaid. He called her on her birthday, which was just a few days before he died. She says she doesn't remember anything about their conversation except that they said, "I love you." But that's all that really matters anyway.

We knew we were loved, and he knew we loved him. There isn't much else. We know he had a relationship with Jesus, and that He welcomed him home with open arms. That is what gives us the most comfort.

I'm honored to have shared a big part of my life with such a wonderful man. We had a lot of laughs along the way and I'll miss that a lot. I can still hear his voice when he would call me. Every time I answered he'd say, "Mr. Studer..." and I'd know it was him.

Rest in peace, Mr. Eiesland.

If you'd like to see the obituary CLICK HERE and the story about the firefighter procession CLICK HERE. Here are some other snapshots of Papa...

Happy (very) Belated Birthday, America!

Since it is nearly August and all, I figured I should get on the ball and finish up the rest of our 4th of July weekend. You know, because I'm punctual like that. After spending the 3rd at Tim & Heidi's, we headed back to Brainerd and hit the lakes again for a family lunch with the Eieslands. Grammie and Papa were in Illinois visiting my brother Nate and his wife Alissa, but the rest of the Eiesland clan met at my Uncle Scott & Aunt Doreen's beautiful lake home for grilling and beach fun. We weren't sure how the boys would do at the beach, but the second we walked down to the lake, Maguire made a beeline for the water and walked straight in fully clothed.

Yeah, he liked the beach.

Ellie, Maguire, and Uncle Scott building sand castles.

And where was Alex during all of this sandy, wet playtime? He (not surprisingly) opted to steer clear of the water and sand and hang with Grandma Studer on the deck.

During lunch, the boys got to experience their first watermelon slices.

After a pit stop at Grammie & Papa's house for a nap, it was off to the parade. Luckily, everyone else in the family went early enough to stake out a good spot in the shade, and all we had to do was roll in a few minutes before the parade started and claim our seats.

Ellie, waiting patiently for the parade to begin. And for the candy.

The boys were fascinated with the loud fire trucks and motorcycles.

Still waiting for candy.....

Maguire had fun dancing to the bands.

Alex got his first taste of parade candy.

And Maguire spent some quality time with Uncle Tom, discussing circus side show acts and country singer-wannabe little people. (Don't ask. Really.)

After the parade, we met up with my cousin Emily and her family for some pizza. Then the boys and I tucked in for the night while Chris, Ellie, and Grandma Studer headed off to the fireworks. It was a fantastic 4th of July spent with lots of family -- just the way we like it!

"Oh, Door!"

Now that we've (almost) hit the 18 month mark, both of the boys seem to be going through the fabled 'language explosion' common at this age. Our house is filled with the sounds of farm animals, cars, tractors, trains, and much, much more. Among our favorites is "sister," which actually comes out pretty understandable from Maguire. But the clip below is the phrase that gets us laughing every time.

Maguire is fascinated by all things involving doors, windows, drawers, etc. He could stand and open/close them ALL. DAY. LONG. And for some reason, when he's closing or opening said doors, he narrates by chiming, "Oh, door!" Every single time. Not sure why he feels that "Oh" needs to precede "door," but it happens without fail.

You have to wait until the very end of the clip to hear it, but along the way, listen for "mankie" (blankie) from Alex and a definite "Bye-bye" from Maguire. Enjoy!

Mullet No More

So, I had a light bulb moment the other day when Maguire went down the slide into the pool headfirst and came up looking eerily Donald Trump-esque with his bad comb-over.

The kid needs a haircut.

I relented.

Chris got out his clippers.

Maguire eyed the clippers thinking,"There's no way he's getting those close to me."

"Don't you people understand I may never have this much hair again, EVER?"

"Haven't you seen the gene pool I came from?"

"Oh, you're going to give me candy? Well, then. That changes things."

When all was said and done, Chris did a great job with the haircut. Maguire looks much older to me, and a lot less sweaty most of the time.



Alex also took a short ride in the barber's seat for a teeny tiny trim of some strange feathery wings of hair sprouting behind his ears. Needless to say, he was not pleased. Plus, he only got the tail end of the sucker. Bummer. Must remember two suckers next time.

Lake Day!

We decided to brave the crowds of tourists and head 'up north' last weekend for a Brainerd 4th of July. The weather was absolutely gorgeous, so on Friday we headed to Tim & Heidi's (Chris's brother) for a day on the lake. Everyone strapped on their life jackets and we set off on the pontoon.

Alex wasn't sure what to make of the whole thing and not surprisingly, stayed pretty close to an adult lap the whole time.

Maguire, on the other hand, couldn't get enough of it! He roamed all around the pontoon, stood by the railing, and let the wind blow through his long, lovely locks.

{A Moment of Digression: Chris thinks Maguire's hair is getting a little too "business in the front, party in the back" and that he needs a haircut. What say you, our little handful of readers? Does our littlest boy need to trim his mini-mullet? Please let us know.}

Anyway, back to Lake Day. Of course, after the past few summers, Ellie was old hat at riding the pontoon and spent most of her time acquiring this lovely Crystal Light mustache.

If you can look past the three chins I seem to have suddenly sprouted in this picture, take a moment and marvel at the fact that both boys are sitting still! At the same time! They might not be looking at the camera, but you know. Maybe someday. A mom can dream.

Maguire and Uncle Tim, co-captains of the pontoon, deep in conversation about steering wheels, buttons, and flashing lights.

Alex was far more interested in available snacks than anything to do with the boat.

Ellie and Chris on the Jet Ski -- she was not convinced about riding, but we were very proud of how brave she was. At first, all you could hear was "GO SLOW, DADDY!!!" but soon she was laughing and asking him to go faster and "GET ME WET! SPLASH ME!"

When Ellie and Chris drove away on the Jet Ski, Maguire started crying. At first, I though he was just thinking Chris was leaving (both of the boys have been having separation anxiety at some really weird times lately), so we all tried to console him that Daddy would be right back. But after a minute, we realized that he was crying because he wanted to be riding with them.

And when I say crying, I mean hysterically sobbing.

And attempting to crawl up over the back of the pontoon to get to the water.

I would have taken a picture of that, but I was too busy trying to restrain him. So we buckled him back into a life jacket and he took a turn on the Jet Ski. Well, mostly he just sat on it with Daddy. This is the smaller and more tip-prone (is that a word?) of Tim & Heidi's two Jet Skis, and it didn't seem quite safe enough for him to take an actual ride. But he was happy as a clam to hold the handlebars and float along next to the pontoon for a few minutes.

Then it was up to the house to celebrate Chris's upcoming (on the 15th!) 30th birthday!

This amazing sunset was in our rearview mirror all the way back to Brainerd. A perfect way to end a great day, spent with family in the seems-like-it-took-forever-to-get-here beautiful summer weather.